


would you love me for the hell of it?

by doubt_thou_the_stars



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Young Justice - All Media Types
Genre: Canon What Canon, First Kiss, Fluff, Kon is still dealing with Cadmus shit, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, the old if the world was ending question
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:01:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26433814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doubt_thou_the_stars/pseuds/doubt_thou_the_stars
Summary: “Tim?” Kon tried again.The smile slowly slipped off Tim’s face. “If the world was going to end tomorrow, what would you do?” he asked quietly.Well damn,Kon thought.So much for a quiet night.Or, Tim and Kon have a late night chat about some feelings.
Relationships: Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent
Comments: 8
Kudos: 186





	would you love me for the hell of it?

**Author's Note:**

> Some thoughts, in no particular order:  
> \- Not going to lie, this fic was inspired by JP Saxe's "If the World Was Ending." I just get vibes y'all.  
> \- This idea has been floating around in my head for about a year now and has finally been brought into existence.  
> \- I had a burger from Red Robin shortly before posting this. Tim would be proud. 
> 
> Also, shoutout to bluejayblueskies who beta read this even though they have no idea who any of the characters are.

When Kon was thrown through his _second_ building of the fight, his day officially went from bad to worse. From where he laid in a pile of rubble trying desperately to catch his breath, he could hear the sounds of the battle above him. Several members of the Justice League were currently fighting off an invasion of alien robots. Or robot aliens? Robots from space?

Pretty much an average Friday night.

Kon had been flying to the Tower when the call went out, and it sounded like they could use the extra set of hands...

Needless to say, as Kon struggled to his feet, brushed the dust off his shoulders, and leapt back into the fray, he was regretting the decision with every passing second. Normally, he would jump at the chance to punch something, but today his heart just wasn’t in it. It had been a long week of pretending to be plain old boring Conner Kent, watching what he said and how fast he moved and trying not to sleep through classes of things that had been directly fed into his brain. But he also wasn’t feeling up to parading around as Superboy, the loud and confident facsimile of himself that always fought to be the center of attention.

He was ready to be just _Kon_. He wanted to spend the weekend goofing off with his friends, watching reruns of _Wendy the Werewolf Stalker_ and ordering pizza from every pizza shop in San Francisco simultaneously and ranking them from best to worst. He wanted to say whatever messed up joke came to mind and to laugh as hard as he physically could. He wanted to sleep in until noon, something that never happened at the farm. He could practically hear his bed calling to him from four states away.

The robots put up quite the fight, and it was well past midnight before things were settled and Kon was able to continue his trip to San Francisco. When the Tower finally came into view, he could have cried tears of joy. _Home at last._ Well, at least one of them.

It had taken him a long time to realize it, but since the moment he had first woken up in that Cadmus lab all those years ago, he had been looking for somewhere he felt like he truly belonged. At first, he thought Clark could help him find it, and he had spent so much time chasing after him, wanting to be wanted. But when Clark’s acceptance never came and Kon realized it never would, he had felt completely alone in the world.

Then, he had opened his eyes and realized he had never been alone. He had people who had his back from the very beginning, who would do anything for him no questions asked. He had Ma and Pa in Smallville, and he had Titans Tower. And wasn’t that something.

Kon landed on the roof of the Tower and made his way to his room. All he wanted to do was take a shower and then sleep… for a week. But then the idea of food entered his mind, and he decided to swing by the kitchen.

As he rifled through the almost empty cupboards (gotta love living with a speedster), he couldn’t help but notice how quiet it was. Normally there were some signs of life, even at this time of night. Cassie would be watching TV on the couch in the common room, or Bart’s music could be heard echoing down the hall. But tonight, it sounded like Kon was the only one in the Tower.

It wasn’t the silence that bothered Kon; he actually enjoyed it after the noise of the chaotic fight earlier. With his super hearing always acting up, he would take the quiet whenever he got it. No, it was the fact that no one else was here. Kon wouldn’t admit it, but he hated being alone. It brought back too many hazy yet vivid memories of his time at Cadmus. Even though there had been eyes on him all the time, he had never felt so isolated and alone. He hadn’t quite understood the concept of loneliness at the time, but he still dreamed of screaming in that dark space and having no one hear him. After those dreams, he needed someone, anyone, and he would often find himself flying toward the nearest heartbeat. 

So being alone in the Tower wasn’t great, but it wouldn’t be for long. The rest of the Titans planned to trickle in throughout the day tomorrow, and then the chaos – and pizza – would begin. He could make it one night.

With a bag of chips in hand, Kon headed to his room and opened the door, only to find someone else already inside. Relief flowed through him; turns out he wasn’t as alone as he had thought.

Tim laid across Kon’s bed with his arms folded behind his head. He was dressed in sweats and a shirt too big for his small frame, probably one of Kon’s. His face was bruised, and he had a large brace wrapped around his ankle.

Looks like Kon wasn’t the only one who’d had a rough week.

Tim was supposed to still be in Gotham, helping the Bats with their latest crisis — probably an Arkham breakout. Honestly, it was hard for Kon to keep up with that city’s latest shade of crazy (which tended to be bright green for some reason).

“Bad day at the office?” Kon asked as he kicked off his shoes and headed toward the bed. Tim just hummed in response, his eyes shut tight. Kon collapsed on the bed beside him with a sigh and closed his eyes. He wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, both taking in the other’s presence.

Maybe Kon had three homes. Smallville, the Tower, and Tim. Could a person be a home? Tim made Kon feel happy and comfortable, with his soft smile and his eternal bedhead and his bad jokes he could have only picked up from Dick Grayson himself. Every time Kon was with Tim, he felt more like himself. His heart beat stronger. His smile was just a bit brighter, his laugh a little louder.

It was like muscle memory. Being with Tim felt like he was coming home.

When Kon opened his eyes, he saw that Tim was staring up at the ceiling, deep in thought about something or another. That was one of the things he admired about him; he was always thinking, always planning. When Kon was trying to figure out the next step, Tim was already ten steps ahead. Kon knew that if he put his mind to it, Tim could take over the whole world. (He probably already had several plans for that exact scenario too; it’d take him a few hours, tops.)

“Whatcha thinking about, Rob?” Kon asked, trying to pull Tim out of his head and into the present. Sometimes Tim needed someone or something to serve as an anchor, to ground him in reality and not in his imagined possible futures, and that job often fell to Kon. Not that he minded,of course. In fact, he enjoyed the confused blinking that normally followed Tim’s return from the depths of his mind, as if he had no idea that he’d been missing. 

This time though, Tim gave a long, dramatic sigh and rolled to face Kon. He smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He looked tired, but that wasn’t new. This was _Tim_ he was talking about; he was lucky if Tim actually got one night’s worth of sleep a week. He was a machine that ran on caffeine and spite and maybe hysteria. So the bags under his eyes didn’t worry Kon, but the look in them did. He looked… well, he looked worried.

That didn’t sit well with Kon. Tim’s contingencies had contingencies. He rarely ever worried about anything because he always had a plan to fix it. Tim without a plan was unthinkable. 

Kon searched Tim’s face, trying to get a hint of what was happening in that big brain of his. Did something happen in Gotham with the Bats? Was someone hurt? No, if things had gone south, Tim would still be there, where he was needed. He was nothing if not reliable, even if it hurt him to be around the Bats. The Titans were always telling him to set more boundaries, but Tim could be such a selfless bastard at times. Kon had lost count of the times that Tim had thrown himself into danger without a thought about his personal wellbeing. He had also lost count of how many times he had yelled at Tim for doing just that. It was infuriating.

Maybe Damian had said something, or Dick had unthinkingly done something that was well meant but actually hurtful. And really, Bruce could be so emotionally constipated that a compliment sounded like a critique, and Tim worked _so hard_ to please that man. 

“Tim?” Kon tried again.

The smile slowly slipped off Tim’s face. “If the world was going to end tomorrow, what would you do?” he asked quietly.

 _Well damn,_ Kon thought. _So much for a quiet night._

Kon sat up quickly. “Why? What’s going on?”

“Nothing like that,” Tim said, not moving a muscle. “Nothing’s wrong. Purely hypothetical.”

 _Oh, so existential crisis is on the menu for tonight._ “Shit, Tim, don’t scare me like that. I just got done punching extraterrestrial visitors. I thought maybe they had friends.” Kon nestled back down on the bed. “Do I even want to ask?”

Tim just shrugged, not taking his eyes off Kon, like he was waiting for something… or maybe trying to prove something.

“Well,” Kon said, “obviously I’d go out fighting, trying to stop whatever was going to end life as we know it.” He let out an awkward laugh, trying to alleviate some of the tension in the room.

Only, Tim didn’t laugh with him; he didn’t even give him a smile. “What if there was nothing you could do?” he asked. “No matter how much you tried, the world was going to explode at the end of the day tomorrow. What do you do with your last day on Earth?”

Kon opened his mouth to respond, but Tim quickly added, “And no, in this scenario, you can’t just fly away and leave the planet. No cop outs.”

There was no way Tim was going to let this drop unanswered. Kon sighed, rolled over onto his back, and thought about Tim’s question. If he had less than twenty-four hours to live, what would he do with it?

The problem was, there was so much he would want to do, so much he hadn’t done since he came into existence. Cadmus had put all this information into his head, but he had never gotten to actually experience it. Though he could fly to any place on the planet, it never felt like he truly got to understand it. He wanted to wander the streets of some city he didn’t know the name of, trying food he had never heard of and listening to a language he had couldn’t understand a word of. He wanted to find out what it truly meant to be human.

Well, half human at least.

Just one day… he would want to do something to make Clark proud, even though he no longer thought that that could happen. Hell, at this point, he’d settle for making Lex proud, and that was a scary thought. (Although punching Superman might just do that. Hmm…)

At his core, Kon craved experiences: the feeling of sand between his toes, of the sun on his face, the wind in his hair. The first deep breath after surfacing from a swim. What it felt like to run his hands through someone’s hair, to wake up next to them. He could tell you the temperature profile of the sun’s photosphere (whatever _that_ meant), but not what it felt like to love someone and be loved in return.

Kon would want to fit an entire life of experiences into one day, but that would be impossible. He wasn’t sure he could put any of that into words, and he wasn’t sure what exactly Tim wanted to hear. So, Kon just said the easiest truth. 

“I’d probably go back to Smallville, eat some of Ma’s apple pie, and just take in the quiet. In the city, there’s always too much noise. Cars honking and people shouting and sirens screaming, and I’d want to think my last thoughts in peace.”

And then the universe did what the universe did best: irony. Even though he had just gotten done saying how it was always so loud here, the room felt incredibly quiet. Even with his super hearing, he could barely hear a sound. It was like everyone in the entire city took a collective breath and held it, waiting. He could only hear his heart beating as he stared at the ceiling.

Kon had expected Tim to say something like “You actually have thoughts? I’m shocked.” But he didn’t say a word.

To break the silence, Kon continued. “I would help Pa with whatever farm chores he would inevitability be doing. That man would still make sure those cows were milked and the fence was fixed, even though the world was ending.”

He huffed a small laugh. “Ma always says, ‘You Kent men all have a stubborn streak a mile wide,’ and without hesitation, Pa will say something like, ‘What, just us men? I’ve seen you go toe-to-toe with Sara Smith at the town potluck when she accused your pie of being store-bought. I could see the fear in her eyes.’”

Kon looked at Tim, pretended to gasp, and said in his best imitation of Ma’s voice, “Pigs will fly before I ever touch a store-bought pie, Jonathan.”

That got a smile out of Tim, which could only make Kon smile as well. He loved that smile, as rare as it sometimes was. He tore his gaze from Tim’s face and turned back to the ceiling above, steeling himself to continue.

“Then, at the end of the day, I would climb up onto the roof of the old barn and do nothing but stare at the sky and wait for the meteor or missile or whatever is going to send me into oblivion. I would be well-fed, well-cared for, content, and ready for… well, the end I guess.”

When Kon finished speaking, the room was still quiet. He rolled onto his side to see Tim’s reaction. He was staring at Kon with that same soft smile on his face. Ugh, he should have just said he would try to bench press the Tower or make Batman laugh or something. 

“Sorry for such a mundane answer,” he said after a while.

Tim shook his head. “Don’t be. It’s just… I don’t think it’s what I was expecting.”

Kon laughed. “Oh, what did you think I would say?”

Tim moved closer to him until their arms were touching. “I don’t know. You always talk about needing to experience everything at least once, to live your life to the fullest. I figured you’d spend your last day doing whatever the hell could make you feel real, I guess.”

Tim knew him well, knew how much Cadmus still affected his thoughts and feelings, and for some reason that both comforted him and terrified him. To be known by someone so completely…

Kon struggled to keep his voice steady. “I think your last hours should be spent with the people you love,” he whispered. “Isn’t that what life is really about?”

Tim hummed as his eyes drifted to the window and the world beyond it, and Kon couldn’t help but wonder what made him think of the question. What would Tim do with his last day? Kon couldn’t come up with an answer, and that devasted him.

He could imagine possibilities though. Maybe Tim would go to Gotham and spend the last day with his family. Even though he knew the Bats could be so unnecessarily cruel to Tim, Kon knew that they loved Tim in their own messed up ways. Kon could picture them all crowded together in a single room of that massive house, trying to get in one more joke, one more taunt, one last laugh.

Or maybe Tim would want to spend time with the Titans. Should that have been Kon’s answer? He was definitely overthinking this; he could just ask.

“What would you do?”

Once again, Tim turned to face him. Only this time, their faces were inches apart.

“This,” he responded and pressed his lips against Kon’s.

It was a ghost of a kiss, their lips barely brushing, but Kon felt his whole world shift. He found himself opening into the kiss and deepening it, desperately trying to capture the feeling that was racing through him.

It was a gentle, curious kiss, but one that packed so much meaning behind it. It tasted like years of memories, like easy friendship and unfaltering support.

It felt like an epiphany.

After what could have been seconds or minutes or hours, Tim pulled back. They both stared into each other’s eyes, neither of them speaking. The only sound was their harsh breathing as they tried to catch their breath. 

Finally, Tim said, “Talk to me, Kon. How are we feeling?”

Kon’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“Well, you haven’t said anything, which means you’re freaking out, which makes me want to freak out.”

“Hey,” Kon said soothingly as he gently placed his hand on Tim’s cheek. “I am not freaking out. I’m… I’m rearranging.”

Tim pulled away from him and sat up. “You’re doing what?”

He groaned and ran a hand down his face. “Okay, fair. That didn’t make sense.” He rolled off the bed and stood, keeping space between them. He could tell that made Tim nervous, but he needed room to think.

“Let me try that again,” he continued. “We’ve known each other for years, Tim, and I’ve always cared for you. But then you kissed me, and I realized that maybe my feelings have always been about more than friendship… Does that make sense?”

Tim was still staring at him with raised eyebrows, so Kon continued.

“Like, I thought I found it funny when you wake up with keyboard impressions on your face after you fall asleep at your computer. I thought I admired the way you always stand up for the things you believe in, even if that means you’re going up against the entire Justice League. It always felt natural to keep an eye on you when we’re in a fight, just in case you needed me.”

“I can—” Tim began to say.

“Yeah, I know. You can take care of yourself, but I still _worry,_ Tim. Even though you’re the strongest person I know, I’ve always worried about you. I can’t help it. I find myself listening for your heartbeat, even when you’re all the way in Gotham.”

Kon huffed a laugh and sat back on the bed, facing Tim, who was looking at Kon with something akin to shock written on his face.

“I always want to know how you are,” Kon said. “What you’re thinking, what you’re feeling, if you’re scared or sad or happy. But I guess I’ve wanted to experience that with you and beside you, not a thousand miles away from you.”

There were quiet tears streaming down Tim’s face, and Kon tried to remember if he’d ever seen Tim cry. If he had, this hit him so much harder and affected him deeper. He rested his forehead against Tim’s. 

“I guess what I’m trying to say is, I think I’ve always wanted something more, even before I realized it.”

Kon brushed his lips against Tim’s, more of a confession than a kiss, more of a promise of future kisses to come.

Tim stayed close but murmured, “But why now?”

“Hey, you kissed me first. We’ve been dancing around each other for years, Tim. I’m sure almost no one will be surprised by this turn of events.” Kon grinned. “Plus, the world _is_ ending tomorrow, right? Gotta make every minute count.”

Tim started it. A small gasp of air escaped his lips, and soon, his shoulders began to shake with laughter. Kon joined in, chuckling at just how stupid the two of them could be. It felt like they had wasted years, but at the same time, he wouldn’t have done it any other way. Kon just pulled Tim down on the bed with him and let the laughter run its course.

After a while, they quieted, and the night faded back into silence. Kon just laid there with Tim in his arms and tried to wrap his head around everything.

With a smile on his lips, he rested his head on top of Tim’s. 

“I’m changing my answer,” he said. “If the world was going to end tomorrow, I’d still go back to the farmhouse.”

Tim snorted and rolled his eyes.

“But,” Kon continued. “I’d take you with me. And I would sit on the roof of the barn with you in my arms and watch the world burn.”


End file.
